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  • About Me
  • Facing Financial Uncertainty
    • Making Ends Meet
    • Managing Debt
    • Create A Plan To Communicate with Your Creditors
    • Communicate With Your Creditors
    • Plan Your Spending
  • Financial Assessment
    • Assessing the Financial Costs of Using
    • Maintain Organized Financial Records
    • Manage Cash Flow and Build Net Worth
    • What Are My Life Needs?
    • Identify My Life Needs
    • Plan Your Spending
    • Use Credit Wisely
    • Maintain Adequate Insurance Coverage
    • Manage Savings and Investments Wisely
    • Criteria for Selecting Savings and Investments
    • Types of Savings and Investments
    • Maintain Your Pre-Retirement Lifestyle During Retirement
    • Pay Necessary Taxes But No More
    • Create and Maintain A Current Estate Plan
    • Own a Business – Practice Management Assessment
  • Financial Worksheets
    • Cost of Substance Use For One Year Inventory
    • My Life Needs
    • Cash Flow Inventory
    • Net Worth Inventory
    • Sources of Income Inventory
    • Spending Tracker Inventory
    • Types of Expenses
    • How Does My Spending Compare?
    • How Much Do I Owe – Debt Inventory
    • Insurance Inventory
    • Savings and Investment Inventory
    • Location of Important Records
    • Personal and Family Information
    • Professional and Personal Advisers
  • Moving Beyond Losses
    • My Life! Create-Fund- Enjoy
    • Use Family Genogram to Observe Family Functioning Patterns
    • The Decades of My LIfe And How They Have Shaped How I Do What I Do
    • How We Form What We Do
    • Subsystems of the Non-Physical Self
    • What Was My Part?
    • Use My Creative Capacity to Find My Way Through Any Difficulty
    • At Peace or Disturbed
    • Forming How We Meet Our Life Needs
    • Choices and Consequences
    • Not satisfied – what next?
  • About Addiction

Impact of Addiction on Family and Finances

Consciously Form What We Do To Create Positive Financial Outcomes

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Facing Financial Uncertainty
    • Making Ends Meet
    • Managing Debt
    • Create A Plan To Communicate with Your Creditors
    • Communicate With Your Creditors
    • Plan Your Spending
  • Financial Assessment
    • Assessing the Financial Costs of Using
    • Maintain Organized Financial Records
    • Manage Cash Flow and Build Net Worth
    • What Are My Life Needs?
    • Identify My Life Needs
    • Plan Your Spending
    • Use Credit Wisely
    • Maintain Adequate Insurance Coverage
    • Manage Savings and Investments Wisely
    • Criteria for Selecting Savings and Investments
    • Types of Savings and Investments
    • Maintain Your Pre-Retirement Lifestyle During Retirement
    • Pay Necessary Taxes But No More
    • Create and Maintain A Current Estate Plan
    • Own a Business – Practice Management Assessment
  • Financial Worksheets
    • Cost of Substance Use For One Year Inventory
    • My Life Needs
    • Cash Flow Inventory
    • Net Worth Inventory
    • Sources of Income Inventory
    • Spending Tracker Inventory
    • Types of Expenses
    • How Does My Spending Compare?
    • How Much Do I Owe – Debt Inventory
    • Insurance Inventory
    • Savings and Investment Inventory
    • Location of Important Records
    • Personal and Family Information
    • Professional and Personal Advisers
  • Moving Beyond Losses
    • My Life! Create-Fund- Enjoy
    • Use Family Genogram to Observe Family Functioning Patterns
    • The Decades of My LIfe And How They Have Shaped How I Do What I Do
    • How We Form What We Do
    • Subsystems of the Non-Physical Self
    • What Was My Part?
    • Use My Creative Capacity to Find My Way Through Any Difficulty
    • At Peace or Disturbed
    • Forming How We Meet Our Life Needs
    • Choices and Consequences
    • Not satisfied – what next?
  • About Addiction

Where Does Each Involved Show Up In A Transaction?

What we get is determined by what we do.   What we do is determined by how we show up in transactions.  We can observe how we show up in transactions with others by observing where our presence, power, and energy is activated in a transaction.  We experience better outcomes in relationships when each person involved is included from the beginning to the end of a transaction.  There are times we can choose to opt out of participating in certain parts of a transaction if we delegate with conscious awareness and agreement.  Inclusion or exclusion without conscious awareness and agreement leads to conflict in relationships.

Rebalance occurs when each person actively participates in the components of a transaction from the beginning to the end.  When the presence, power, and energy of one person involved is dormant (excluded) and the presence, power and energy of the other person is expressing without conscious awareness and agreement, the stage is set for interpersonal conflict.

Balance in relationships occurs when the presence, power and energy of each person involved in included from the beginning to the end of each transaciton

Misuse (abuse) of power occurs when we do not include all persons in a transaction when it involves them and yet we expect them to participate in filling the need.  When one person opens a transaction (the opener) and expects another to close it, this can set up an abusive pattern.  When another person closes the transaction (the closer) that someone else opened, this allows the abuse to occur.  When this pattern repeats over and over, the path to abuse and addiction is established.  When observing how each person participated in a transaction, consider if each person was acting independently (Iselfme,You) or was each involved acting cooperatively with consideration of the others involved (WE).  By observing how we form what we do in interactions, we can rebalance what we do to get better outcomes.

Change begins by observing how we show up in transactions.  Observing where we are absent (dormant/not engaged) indicates where rebalance needs to occur.  Observing where we are present in a transaction that we did not originate, can also indicate where rebalance needs to occur.  Did you open the transaction?  Did you close the transaction?  Did each person involved move through the transaction from the beginning to the end with conscious awareness and agreement?

We create positive life outcomes when we own our part in and allow others to own their part from the beginning to the end of transactions with conscious awareness and agreement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About Esther

Esther Maddux

Hi! I’m Esther – Resource Management Consultant.  Join me in discussing family and financial issues related to substance abuse and addiction.

 

Esther Maddux Counseling Services

emaddux@addictionfamilyfinance.com
Hours - Please email to schedule an individual appointment
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