What we get is determined by what we do.   What we do is determined by how we show up in transactions.  We can observe how we show up in transactions with others by observing where our presence, power, and energy is activated in a transaction.  We experience better outcomes in relationships when each person involved is included from the beginning to the end of a transaction.  There are times we can choose to opt out of participating in certain parts of a transaction if we delegate with conscious awareness and agreement.  Inclusion or exclusion without conscious awareness and agreement leads to conflict in relationships.

Rebalance occurs when each person actively participates in the components of a transaction from the beginning to the end.  When the presence, power, and energy of one person involved is dormant (excluded) and the presence, power and energy of the other person is expressing without conscious awareness and agreement, the stage is set for interpersonal conflict.

Balance in relationships occurs when the presence, power and energy of each person involved in included from the beginning to the end of each transaciton

Misuse (abuse) of power occurs when we do not include all persons in a transaction when it involves them and yet we expect them to participate in filling the need.  When one person opens a transaction (the opener) and expects another to close it, this can set up an abusive pattern.  When another person closes the transaction (the closer) that someone else opened, this allows the abuse to occur.  When this pattern repeats over and over, the path to abuse and addiction is established.  When observing how each person participated in a transaction, consider if each person was acting independently (Iselfme,You) or was each involved acting cooperatively with consideration of the others involved (WE).  By observing how we form what we do in interactions, we can rebalance what we do to get better outcomes.

Change begins by observing how we show up in transactions.  Observing where we are absent (dormant/not engaged) indicates where rebalance needs to occur.  Observing where we are present in a transaction that we did not originate, can also indicate where rebalance needs to occur.  Did you open the transaction?  Did you close the transaction?  Did each person involved move through the transaction from the beginning to the end with conscious awareness and agreement?

We create positive life outcomes when we own our part in and allow others to own their part from the beginning to the end of transactions with conscious awareness and agreement.