How Did Each Person Involved Show Up In an Interaction?

Take a look at an event that that has occurred in a relationship in your life in which you did not get what you wanted.  Take a look at how you did what you did in the transaction.

• What was the stimulus (the situation) that created the transaction?  Describe what happened that created the transaction.
• Who were the participants involved?
• What was the purpose of the transaction?
  • What was the need?  
  • Who had the need? – I/Self/Me, You, We
  • Who identified and defined the need?
  • Was the need identified and defined by one person or by all involved?
  • Was this a need or an expectation to get a specific outcome?
• Who created the transaction? 
  • What was my part in creating the transaction?
  • Did others involved participate in creating the transaction?
  • Were all involved included from the beginning to the end of the transaction?
• What was the solution?    
  • What was my part in forming and defining the solution to fill the need?  
  • What was the other person’s part in forming and defining the solution to fill the need?
  • Were all involved included in identifying and defining the solution to fill the need?
• Describe the actions were taken?
  • What action did I take?
  • What action did others involved take?
  • Was each person involved in the transaction included or excluded from the beginning to the end of the transaction?
• What were the consequences?
  • Was your need met?
  • Were the needs of others met?  
  • How was the presence of each person valued?
  • Were the needs of each person valued equally?
  • Was someone valued more than another – put on a pedestal?
  • Was someone valued less than another -discounted?
• How did each person involved feel about the outcome?
  • Were you satisfied with the outcome?
  • Were the others involved satisfied with the outcome?
  • Were most or all involved satisfied with the outcome?