By the law of nature, we have the creative capacity within ourselves to identify, define and take the action to form what we do to fill our life needs to keep our individual lives moving in good orderly direction. We can join with others to fill common needs. The quality of the way we from what we do as individuals and how we connect with others influences whether we feel dissatisfied or satisfied with our lives.
If we are dissatisfied with a situation, we can take a look at what we did or didn’t do that created the outcome we experienced.
What was the source of the need – who had the need that started the interaction?
- Can be an idea that we have
- Can be from an external source
Who was involved or impacted and when?
- At what point, was each person involved?
- Was each person involved included from the beginning to the end?
- Was someone impacted that was not directly involved? If so, who and how?
Where was the focus of attention of each person involved?
- On one’s self
- On the other person involved
- On those impacted
Did each involved clarify his or her intention?
- Was each person involved allowed to identify his or her intention (need)?
- Was the common need of the group (all involved and impacted) considered?
Did each involved participate in planning the solution?
- Did each person involved contribute their thoughts and feelings to plan the solution and define the roles?
- Was each person involved allowed to define what he or she was willing to do to meet the need?
- When was each person allowed to define what he or she was willing to do to meet the need?
- Was each person willing to particpate or was someone doing something that went against his or her will? (resentment)
Did each person own his or her part to take the action to fill the need in a way that was mutually satisfying for all involved?
- Did each person involved own or consciously delegate his or her part in doing their part to meet the need?
- Did anyone involved unconsciously assume or transfer his or her part?
What was the outcome? Review – What Next? Stop, start, correct, maintain
- Was each person accountable for their part in meeting the need? Did they deny or project accountability?
- What was the outcome? Was the need met in way that was mutually satisfying to all involved?
- What happens next?
- If we are not satisfied and do nothing differently, then nothing changes.
- Sometimes we need to stop doing what we are doing.
- Sometimes we need to start doing something.
- Sometimes we need to make a change and correct what we doing to get a better result.
- Sometimes we are making good progress and can continue doing what we are doing.
- If I am not satisfied, I can stop what I am currently doing to see if there is something I can do to get a better outcome.
- I consider the opinions of others involved when determining what to do next.
- If we keep doing the same thing over and over, we will keep getting the same result. If we want a different result, we can change what we are doing.
Knowing what we value, voicing what we need, being clear about what we are willing and not willing to do and doing our part can help us find our way through the good and the “not so good” events of our lives.