Own/Delegate or Assume/Transfer 

By the law of nature, we have been given the capacity to meet our life needs. Our purpose in life is to identify, define and fill our life needs to sustain a life that we enjoy on a daily basis.  When we fill our needs, our longings, as they arise, we enjoy life.  We have been given a physical self and a non-physical self to form what we do to create our lives so we can experience the joy of living. 

We create our lives by how we form what we do in the next step that we take. We form what we do to fill our physical needs, our non-physical needs, and the needs we share in common with other people, places, or things. When filling our needs, there are some aspects of our lives that we do alone. There are other aspects of our lives that require us to connect with others.

Each individual is given the physical and non-physical capacity to form what we do. The quality of the way we form how we express the self and connect when we relate to other people, places, or things determines whether we experience good or not so good life outcomes.

When we are impacted by addiction, the way we form what we do gets out of balance.

Some people neglect their own needs because they focus attention on taking action to fill the needs of others.  Some people neglect taking care of their own needs and allow others care of needs for them.  When this imbalance repeats over and over, conflict occurs that causes stress in relationships.  

Relationships work best when each person owns his or her part in filling his or her own needs.  We don’t have to do everything for ourselves.  Tasks can be delegated with conscious awareness and agreement.

Relationships get out of balance when the tasks of identifying, defining and filling needs is displaced from the sources where it naturally belongs.  Someone opens the transaction.  Another person closes the transaction.  The pattern repeats.  Each time the pattern repeats conflict builds.

Relationships get out of balance when ownership of the way needs are fulfilled is displaced so that functions of need fulfillment are assumed or transferred outside the source where the need originated.  One person opens a transaction.  Someone else closes the transaction.    When roles and responsibilities for activating fulfillment of needs is activated outside the source where it resides, there is an imbalance  in how power and energy are activated throughout the components of an interaction.

When we project fulfillment of needs externally and we get what we want, we are excited.  When we project fulfillment of needs externally and we don’t get what we want, we feel despair.  Despair can turn into resentments when patterns of formation in relationships repeat over time. 

Because fulfillment of life needs can get out of balance and cause conflict, clarifying what we need to enjoy life and taking the right action to fill each need we have is an important task.

Use the worksheet below, to identify the needs in your life.  

My Life Needs

Consider how satisfied or dissatisfied you are with how you are progressing in filling each need of your life. 

If you are not satisfied, make a list of the areas where you would like to see change.  We will observe how you form what you do and identify ways you can rebalance how you do what you do to meet your life needs so you feel satisfied with your life.

The quality of the way we meet our life needs determines whether we are satisfied or not satisfied with our life as it is today.